If You Want to See Her a Second Time, Here’s What to Talk About (and What NOT to Talk About)

By Adam Armstrong
Many guys (and quite a lot of women too) turn a first date into some kind of weird INTERVIEW. It’s awkward, it’s cringy, and oftentimes people have way less fun than they should… because they’ve turned it into something much more HIGH PRESSURE than it should be!

To have more successful dates with women read on carefully…

And, when I say ‘more successful’ I mean…

• Dates that lead to more dates!
• Dates that build attraction, and comfort!
• Dates that lead to the bedroom!
• Dates that lead to quality relationships!

Sound good?

Great. 

Then let’s dive into it…

Religion, Politics, Money, and Sex…

Avoid!

These 4 topics are ‘No-Go Zones’ on a first date. You see, rather than being excellent Conversation Starters – they’re more like Conversation ENDERS.

Here’s why…

Religion and Politics – I’ve lumped these two together because people are so poorly informed about them, AND highly opinionated on them… they’re a sure-fire recipe for an ARGUMENT.

Money? I don’t see much to be gained by talking about this on a first date either. It’s too easy to come across as a bragger, or a tightwad, or even ‘bad’, ‘corrupt’, or ‘evil’. Personally, I have no issue talking about money (to me, it’s simply a means to an end… it gives you options in life). But… on a first date? Nah, stay well away!

How about Sex? Definitely DO NOT talk about sex on a first date. I know you want to BANG THE CHICK, but talking about sex usually isn’t the best way to get her into bed…

If you brag, she’ll likely think: “Another chump who talks a good game, but actually lacks the skills to show me a good time”.

If you come across as CLUELESS, she’ll immediately ‘Friend Zone’ you.

If you talk about your ‘likes’ and they differ to her, she’ll think you’re not sexually compatible.

I could go on – but I think you get the idea… 

Religion, Politics, Money & Sex are best left ‘off the table’ as Conversation Topcis, when you go on a first date with a woman!

The question is:

“What Exactly Should You Talk About on a First Date?”

When I was SINGLE, I did a lot of Internet Dating.

Why?

Because, as a pretty damn good writer (and a veri fin speller too) – Online Dating came easily to me (and spared me the hassle of going to noisy bars and clubs, and having to shout over the music to talk to anyone).

When I met women on a first date, having set the date up online, I’d usually go somewhere super relaxed like a Coffee Shop, or Deli for Lunch.

There I’d usually get a bottle of water – which, for me, was an instant conversation starter. Because the woman would always be like:

“Oh, you don’t drink coffee?”

Then it’d easily and effortlessly lead into a conversation about health, strength training and so on. This wasn’t planned, but, looking back – it gave me A LOT of STATUS. It was an easy way to show I was a HEALTHY, FIT and STRONG man (without ever bragging and saying it out loud).

Nothing planned.

I didn’t have a list of questions (God, that’d be LAME, and PAINFUL).

I just kept it natural and went with the flow.

Oftentimes, as the woman walked up to me, I’d look for something interesting she was wearing. Then, after smiling, saying “Hello” and giving a kiss on the cheek I could transition to something like:

“God, those are nice shoes”

And, she’d feel immediately at ease and start telling me about her shoes/bag/watch/whatever.

See how that works?

It’s just conversation.

Not totally different to what you have with your buddies. You just have an unspoken ‘secondary theme’. That theme being:

You want to BANG HER.

And, that’s ok. It’s perfectly natural 😉

Other things to talk about on a first date…

• If ever I met a woman who was really into Health and Fitness like I was… and I could tell she had a playful, slightly BITCHY side (like I do!), I’d look for someone massively overweight, and say… “Jesus Christ, can you imagine being that FAT?” (don’t judge me, I’m being totally HONEST with you here. Giving you the GOLD that’ll get you second dates, blow jobs and more!)
• If the woman’s looking at the Menu and she can’t make up her mind, tap her on the arm and PLAYFULLY say: “Geez, are you always this indecisive” (then roll your eyes and smile. If she gently punches your arm, or gently shoves you away, you know you did it right, and ATTRACTION is building)
• If the date is going REALLY WELL (and she’s obviously into you), and you want to take things to a new venue, but you aren’t sure how to instigate that, simply say: “Come On [HER NAME], we’re going to the next place”. Then offer her your hand. If she asks WHERE you’re going, just say: “It’s a surprise. But, don’t worry, you’re perfectly dressed for it”

God Dammit.

This must be the most RAMBLING blog post I’ve ever written 🙂

But, honestly, I’m just sharing this stuff with you as I remember it (I’ve been with my woman now for 7 years, 2 kids in, so SINGLE isn’t something I’ve been in AGES).

But, you get the idea, right?

This idea of treating the first date like an INTERVIEW is just AWFUL. People have all these pre-rehearsed questions, nothing is natural. And then they wonder why their relationships are TERRIBLE and the SEX is LOUSY.

Men and women have no idea how to interact anymore.

It’s supposed to be Natural. Effortless. FUN.

Don’t go on a first date worrying about what she might ask you, or thinking she might be ‘the one’. It all puts too much pressure on EVERYONE involved and makes things awkward.

Go on dates with a mind-set of INQUISITIVENESS and ADVENTURE.

Get to know the woman.

Be your best self. But, still be YOURSELF.

If it doesn’t work out – that’s ok! Plenty more Fish in the Sea.

If it does work out – great. 2nd date time. Or, bedroom time!

>> Got Questions?

Leave Them Below and I’ll Get Back to You ASAP.

Talk soon…

Your friend,

Adam Armstrong